I realised that through this ‘gift’, it took away from what I actually wanted to do – which was to come alongside them, to be a friend.

I was struck recently by a teaching on Luke 16, where Jesus tells the parable of Lazarus, who would look for scraps at the gates of a rich man’s house.

The point was made that the rich man’s subsequent punishment in Hades, arguably wasn’t the result of a complete rejection of Lazarus – he tolerated him from the distance of his doorstep – perhaps even letting him eat what was left over.

The rich man’s crime was that he didn’t consider him a brother. He kept him at a comfortable arm’s length.

It’s good to be generous – and to want people’s physical needs to be met. But acts of generosity, can be counter-productive, if they’re a substitute for coming alongside and loving that person.

Saying 'No'

In fact, one of the pieces of advice I give to those ministering to marginalised people, is actually learning to say ‘no’ – whether that’s to a well-meaning, but counter-productive ministry idea, or even to a person who asks you for something.

It can be easy to say yes to a request for money, for example, and then to feel that we have done our bit, and leave that person alone. Or we might feel compelled to say yes to every immediate opportunity to support that person’s needs, which isn’t sustainable.

If you get comfortable saying no to people, it gets a lot of the rubbish out of the way and you can work on the kind of the things that actually matter. It frees you up to pursue genuine relationship with that person.

I always say when you make an effort to love those ‘very difficult people’, often you learn to really like them as well.

There was a regular guest at Weber Street (LCM’s day centre for people who are homeless), who if I’m being honest I would often dread him coming in.

He was very loud and obnoxious and often caused problems.

I would make phone calls to help with some of his paperwork and different needs he had. As the weeks went on, we got to know each other a little bit from doing this. And then funnily enough, one day when he didn't come, I found myself thinking, ‘Oh, where is he?’ I missed him. I realised I’d started to really like this guy.

Natural gospel opportunities

And it’s when we build these relationships that sharing our faith can be a lot more natural and authentic.

We can think that if I’m not the same as this person, or if I don't share the same story or background as them, then how can I share my faith with them.

It’s important to remember we're not pointing them to ourselves – we'd be doing them a great disservice if we did that. I've learned that it's really important to read the Bible with people, and to talk about God with people rather than at them or to them.

I find in prison so often when I read the Bible with people and encourage their input, rather than me just teaching them, I learn things.

I've seen people come into prison or to a homeless centre and maybe add a bit of extra spice to their testimony to try and make it relatable to people. But it’s unnecessary – just be yourself and people will learn to trust you.

So, really all of this is to say there are no quick fixes, but there is huge reward at investing in relationships with people who are so easily overlooked by others.

You can hear more from Luke on this topic in episode 7 of our podcast, 'How do we intentionally bring the gospel into our social outreach?'