They kept greeting me. They kept asking how I was. They kept inviting me back. Even when I made it difficult, they didn’t give up. Their consistency softened something in me, long before I understood what God was doing.

Belonging often begins with something as simple as being seen.

So how do we build churches where young people feel that same sense of welcome, value, and purpose? Here are four steps that can make a real difference.

1. Begin with consistent, genuine welcome

For many young people, walking into church feels intimidating. They may assume adults won’t want to talk to them, or that they’ll be judged for not behaving “properly”. Even those who have grown up in church can feel this way.

A simple greeting can break down more barriers than we realise. When someone says, “Good to see you,” or remembers something about them from the previous week, or strikes up a conversation about their interests, it tells a young person they matter. And when that welcome is consistent – even when their behaviour isn’t – it builds trust.

In the podcast, I share how adults in my church kept speaking to me even when I was disruptive. They didn’t avoid me. They didn’t give up. That steady kindness helped me feel safe enough to stay.

I’ve seen the same thing in churches I’ve worked with. A young person who feels valued is far more likely to return, to open up, and to take steps of faith.

Belonging begins with being noticed; and being noticed again the following week.

One simple thing you can do is ask a young person: “How can I be praying for you?”

Prayer is one of the simplest and most meaningful ways to support a young person. You may not know everything they’re carrying, but you can bring them before God. And when you combine prayer with presence – a conversation, a message, a moment of encouragement – it can make a lasting difference.

2. Create spaces where relationships can grow naturally

Young people don’t only need to be welcomed; they need to be known. And that happens best in spaces where conversation can flow without pressure.

In my recent Everyday Evangelism episode, I describe a church where the youth worker invited a different adult each week to share their testimony with the young people. At first it felt awkward, but over time something changed. The young people began to recognise adults in the congregation. They started conversations on Sundays. They felt part of the wider church family, not separate from it.

Young people today face huge pressures – from social media, from expectations about success, from the belief that showing emotion is weakness. Many don’t feel able to be vulnerable. I struggled with this myself as a teenager. I didn’t know how to express what I was feeling, so I acted out instead.

When adults model honesty and vulnerability, it gives young people permission to do the same. It shows them that church is a place where they can bring their whole selves – not just the polished version.

It can be tempting as adults to want to appear immune from the temptations young people face. But when we share our own weaknesses and struggles, it breaks down walls.

Relationships grow when young people feel safe enough to be themselves.

3. Invite young people to serve – even before they feel ready

One of the most powerful things you can do to bless a young person is to give them real responsibility in church life – things like the sound desk, welcome team, or helping with children’s groups. When that happens, they begin to feel part of the church, not just present in the building.

Natasha’s story is a brilliant example of this. In the podcast episode, she shares how, after a difficult season of drifting, she was asked to join the PA team at her church. She had never touched a PA desk before, but she said “why not” and stepped in. That simple invitation led to her learning the tech, serving more broadly, and eventually being asked to share her testimony with young people at the church’s Life Expo Café. What started as a practical invitation ended up helping her to take her spiritual life more seriously.

From there, doors opened for her to keep speaking about Jesus to hundreds of young people.

Her experience shows what can happen when a church gives a young person a chance to serve, even when they don’t feel ready. They grow. They gain confidence. They discover gifts they didn’t know they had.

Young people don’t need to be “ready” to serve. They need opportunities, encouragement, and adults who will walk alongside them.

Belonging deepens when young people are trusted with real responsibility.

4. Keep going, even when progress feels slow

My team at LCM has recently been partnering with a church in Rainham who wanted to reach young people in their community. They started an after-school club – and for a whole year, only two young people came. It would have been easy to stop. But they kept going. They kept showing up.

And then we got a one new volunteer to come along from the church. They said they knew one of the mums who had a kid who goes to the school; “I’ll get him to come along.”

He came the next with a couple of his mates. And then the next week he came again, with all of his mates. And it’s around 35.

Suddenly there were thirty‑five, forty every week. God was doing something incredible. Young people notice when adults don’t give up on them, and God honours our faithfulness with the few.

Belonging is built by people, not programmes

If you want young people to belong in your church, you don’t need a flashy youth ministry or the latest equipment. You need people – people who greet them, listen to them, pray for them, and trust them with real responsibility. People who show them, week after week, that they matter.

That’s what changed my life. And it’s what I see changing young people’s lives across London today.

When a young person feels seen, known, and trusted, church becomes more than a place they attend. It becomes home.

If you or your church would like to connect with our children, youth and schools team here at London City Mission, then contact ministries@lcm.org.uk