This article was originally published in Evangelicals Now and has been republished with permission.
Wien Fung shares how elderly isolation can be overcome with radical love.
The recent news about the tragic deaths of actor Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa, has deeply affected me. Arakawa died from hantavirus, likely one week before Hackman, whose Alzheimer's meant he probably didn't even realise his wife had passed away. The thought of this elderly couple spending their final days alone, unknown, undiscovered deeply troubled me.
This shock resonated deeply, echoing my own experiences of grief. Last year, my father passed away, and I wasn't able to be there with him at the end. Since then, I've wondered many times what those final moments were like for him. Did he feel alone? Was he afraid? Did he know how much he was loved? It's a pain that never really leaves you — the questions, the regrets, and the longing to have done things differently.
A silent epidemic
Yet, as painful as Hackman and Arakawa's story is, it's sadly not unusual. Thousands of elderly people in the UK, and especially here in London, live and die in profound isolation. Age UK reports that nearly a million older people (aged 65+) in the UK are often lonely with no one to turn to when they need someone to talk to or need help with something. Shockingly, 1 in 40 older people in England go a week without speaking to a friend or family member.
In our city renowned for its liveliness, filled with millions, loneliness hides in plain sight. Whether it's behind the closed doors of council estates, care homes, or even within our own families, it's a hidden crisis. It's especially heartbreaking in London, where community ties can feel fragile, and relationships strained by busy lives, financial pressures, or simple neglect.
Arakawa's story, as an Asian American woman raised in a culture known for its deep respect and value placed on family connections, further highlights the paradox that isolation can affect anyone. Traditionally, East Asian cultures highly value family loyalty, intergenerational living, and close familial bonds. Yet even in these communities, shifts toward individualism, geographic distances, and unspoken family tensions create painful fractures. It’s a silent epidemic — hidden beneath the surface of expectation, honour and shame, families silently drifting apart, leaving elderly relatives alone, vulnerable, and forgotten.
Radical love
As Christians, this issue calls out to our faith in powerful ways. At the heart of our belief is Christ's radical love — a love that sees the unnoticed, welcomes the forgotten, and comforts the lonely. “God sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6). This simple yet powerful verse reminds us that no one is meant to face isolation alone — Christ calls us, His church, to become the family to those who feel forgotten. This love is deeply counter-cultural. It challenges the easy acceptance of isolation and brokenness, urging us instead towards connection, compassion, and courageous reconciliation.
