But others were really kind. I was, in many ways, a mess—and I will always be grateful to the Christians who helped me. They studied the Bible with me, loved me, and discipled me. I’m sure they felt I was very different from them, but they showed me Christ-like patience.

And as followers of Jesus, we’re all called to be people who cross social divides—both in the church and when we share the gospel with unbelievers.

Jesus’ words in The Great Commission—“Go and make disciples of all nations…”—push us beyond our social circles, to share Jesus with those who don’t look like us, talk like us, or even think like us.

Nobody is saying this is easy. But if people never reached out across boundaries, then the gospel wouldn't spread. How else would the good news have spread from Jerusalem to London—even to Middlesbrough?

The apostle Paul knew this. Even though he was a Jewish Pharisee, the backbone of his ministry was to reach the Gentiles.

But even when we know we should reach out, it can be tricky—and even intimidating—to know how to connect with new people.

Make the First Move

Making the first move can be nerve-wracking, but it’s often easier than we think. God can do a lot with a simple invitation or act of hospitality. Even if you’re not confident enough to invite someone over for dinner, perhaps you could invite them in for a cup of tea or ask them to get a coffee with you.

I once met a woman at my church’s toddler group and invited her over for a cup of tea. I didn’t think of it at the time, but in many ways we were very different. It turned out she was spiritually hungry, and over many months I was able to look at the Bible with her.

Recently, I asked her, “What did you think when you first met me?” She told me that when we met, she had lived on our local estate for twelve years, and I was the first person to ever invite her into their home.

Wonderfully, she is now a Christian.

So just take that step—you never know how God wants to use you to bless other people. Our culture doesn’t practise much hospitality, but that’s what makes it such a powerful witness when we do. I’m nothing special, and I get nervous about reaching out to people, but God can use me because His Spirit is in me.

I’ve also realised that even asking someone to do you a favour can bless that person! A lady at our church once invited people over to help her stuff envelopes for her work, which allowed new friendships to blossom.

So, it’s worth thinking: what could you do to invite people into the things you’re already doing?

Find a Point of Connection

Making the first move is great, but we can still struggle because we fear we won’t have anything in common with that person. What will we talk about? But when we stay curious about people, we can often discover points of connection.

One day I walked past a mum on the school run and asked the usual, “How are you?”
She replied, “My sister passed away.”
It was one of those moments where I thought, I can’t talk to you about this right now.
So I said, “Why don't you come over for a cup of tea next Monday?”

I didn’t really know her, but as we were walking to my flat the following week, she opened up about her family. The more she told me—about a family member in prison, among other things—the more I felt that we had very different lives.

As we sat and drank our tea and ate digestives, I realised that the thing she needed most was just someone to listen to her. So many people don’t have that.

As we continued chatting about different things, she mentioned some of the foods she loves to cook for her son. It was the same kind of food I like to cook. It was a small moment of connection, but I began to realise there were lots of ways we were similar.

And before she left, I was able to offer to pray for her, which thankfully she accepted. It was a wonderful opportunity, especially because I don’t think anyone had prayed with her before.

Afterwards, I was just reflecting on how, if I'd seen it all written down on paper, I might have thought, We’re just so different, how would I ever connect with this person? But actually, we’re not that different—we’ve just had different experiences.

This idea of finding a point of connection is shown in Scripture. In Acts 17, when Paul goes to Athens and walks around the city, he’s greatly distressed because it’s full of idols. In terms of their religion, these Greeks have a completely different background to Paul.

Paul could have thought, I’ll let someone else talk to these Greeks. Imagine if he had! But instead he found a connection point and said to them, “I see that in every way you are very religious.” Then he shared the gospel.

I think that whoever we’re talking to, we can find something we have in common. It could be that you’re both mothers or fathers, or you live in the same area, go to the same shops, or watch the same Netflix shows. (I work in a school. Pretty much everyone I meet went to school! So I can always ask them about that.)

If you stay curious about a person, you’ll find something to bond over.

Pray

Without God, we can do nothing. Prayer is vital when we’re sharing Jesus with people, and we’re often most aware of this when we’re with people who seem very different to us.

Let’s pray that the Lord would open our eyes to opportunities to connect with the people we meet.
Let’s pray that God would show us how much He loves every kind of person, and that he would give us His heart for the ‘outsider.’

‘And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ’ (Ephesians 3:17-19).

To hear more from Catherine, you can check out Episode 3 of our Everyday Evangelism podcast, "But I tend to hang around people like me". Or watch via the link below.