Reconnecting with old friends
Since that realisation, I’ve made a concerted effort to reconnect. I have a couple of really precious non-Christian friends who are still close to me. One of them isn’t someone you’d expect to walk into a church voluntarily. He’s been a couple of times with me over the years, but he finds the Bible condemning to his lifestyle – and he’s offended by it.
And yet, recently we had a conversation that surprised me. He listed all the Christians I’d introduced him to and told me how each one had made him feel. It was overwhelmingly positive.
Even though he disagrees with our beliefs, he still values our company. That conversation reminded me of something important.
People often remember how you make them feel rather than necessarily what you’ve said, especially when they’re a fish out of water.
That unseen bit of fruit encouraged me. It’s not always about the perfect gospel presentation. Sometimes it’s about creating spaces where people feel loved and respected.
Noticing people
We all want to be seen. But so often we’re glued to our screens, connected to our own circles, and we fail to notice the one in need of God’s love, especially those on the margins.
I think a lot of people that are either rough sleepers or have a background of homelessness are used to being ignored and unnoticed and forgotten and not respected. And so they really value someone reaching out.
It’s actually the simple things that go a really long way – the remembering of names, the simple questions about how they’re getting on.
It’s not complicated. Say hello. Remember their name. Ask how they’re doing. Spend time with them without making them feel like you’ve got a ticking watch telling you to rush off. Those tiny things matter deeply to someone who’s used to being rejected and avoided.
And you can do it in community. Reaching them with your church family or another Christian is sometimes safer, but also such a witness of Christian love. Why not invite them into already existing friendships? That’s what God has done with us – invited us into His family.
If you do feel too busy to have a conversation, a practical tip that really helped me was simply to leave your house earlier and expect to run into someone. Pray that you would run into someone you could spend an extra five minutes with. It sounds simple, but it works.
